You said it as kindly as you knew how. They dug in anyway.
You had thought it through.
Maybe it was your partner, who agrees with you in principle and then hands over the tablet anyway.
Maybe the teaching partner who nods in the meeting and then does it her own way.
Maybe the parent who told you that Montessori thing doesn’t really work at our house.
You had good reasons, and somehow the more sense you made, the more firmly they held their ground.
In the conversation
You come in prepared. Halfway through you can feel it happening, the arms folding, the yes-but, the polite smile that means nothing is going to change. So you explain again, a little faster this time, a little tighter.
Afterwards
You go back over it and you can't find the moment where it turned. You wonder whether to push harder next time or just stop bringing it up. Neither one feels right.
That conversation is what this LiveTalk is about.
What if the pushback was never really about you?
Elena Aguilar has spent decades coaching teachers, guides and school leaders through exactly these conversations, and what she found is both uncomfortable and freeing.
Resistance lives in the space between one person protecting something and another person pushing. It carries information, and once you can read it, the conversation stops going in circles.
On September 10 Elena joins us live to show you how, and to take your questions about the conversation you keep having.
A live conversation about the talks that keep going nowhere
In this interactive session you'll discover:
- Why Grandma hears “you’re doing it wrong” when you said “let him try it himself”, and what she’s actually defending
- Why the third time you explain it lands worse than the first, and what to do with the urge to explain again
- The pressure you’re putting into the conversation without hearing it in your own voice
- The question that gets a real answer instead of “yeah, I know, I know”, and how to ask it so it doesn’t sound like a trap
- The days when it has nothing to do with you at all, when someone is on their fourth new initiative this term or their third night without sleep and has nothing left to say yes with
- The person who’s genuinely not going to change, and how to stay close to them anyway
You’ll leave reading the conversation you keep getting stuck in completely differently, and with live Q&A time to bring Elena the situation you’re actually in.
Meet Elena Aguilar
Elena Aguilar is a writer, teacher, coach and podcaster, and the founder and CEO of Bright Morning, where she trains educators and school leaders in transformational coaching. She is the author of eight books, among them The Art of Coaching, The Art of Coaching Teams, Onward: Cultivating Emotional Resilience in Educators, Coaching for Equity, and Arise: The Art of Transformational Coaching.
She hosts The Bright Morning Podcast, co-founded Kenya Big Picture Learning, sits on the advisory board of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and is a certified mindfulness meditation teacher. Her ninth book, How to Coach Resistance: Turning Pushback into Possibility, arrives this September, and it’s what we’ll be talking about.