Dr. Shefali took one question and stayed with it for almost half an hour, and it turned into the clearest map of a trigger I have heard her give. The behaviour is on the outside, your child really did laugh in your face or scream over the wrong cup. What she unpacks is why it lands the way it does, and why the part of you that cannot take it is not the adult you are today.
She then gives three reasons a child never actually intends to trigger you, what to do in the seconds before you explode, what to do after you have already yelled, and the difference between calming yourself and swallowing it. She also answers the question one of you sent in about a four year old copying his older sister, and she talks about her own daughter. Her one takeaway, if you only keep one thing from the hour, is short enough to remember at bedtime.
