Watch a recording of our LiveTalk with Lucie Brixí Tamášová in an enlightening live Q&A featuring William R. Stixrud, Ph.D., a clinical neuropsychologist, faculty member at Children’s National Medical Center, and co-author of the bestselling book The Self-Driven Child. In this inspiring session, Dr. Stixrud shares powerful insights on how nurturing a healthy sense of control in children lays the foundation for resilience, motivation, and emotional well-being. Drawing from neuroscience, psychological research, and decades of clinical experience, he explains how autonomy—not overprotection—is key to helping children thrive. Throughout the hour, he highlights how Montessori education beautifully aligns with these principles, offering a respectful, choice-based environment that fosters independence. This conversation offers practical tools for parents and educators alike, grounded in empathy, validation, and trust in the child’s innate capability.
In this video
William Stixrud starts with a child's sense of control, from babies up, in a live talk for parents and teachers. He looks at anxious children, and at how a parent can stay calm enough to steady them. The Q&A takes up bribes, shouting at your child, a child who is afraid to try, and parents who push too hard.
Chapters
- 0:00 What a sense of control is and why even babies need it
- 5:17 Why feeling out of control is so stressful for kids
- 8:43 Self-determination theory, growth mindset and flow
- 12:52 Connection first: reflective listening and one-on-one time
- 17:41 Parent as consultant: let kids solve problems and decide
- 24:50 The SPACE approach to anxiety and taking force off the table
- 29:01 Being a non-anxious presence and why calm is contagious
- 33:52 How to stay calm: take the long view and accept the path
- 37:52 Supporting autonomy at school and child-led play at home
- 40:14 Q&A: Bribes now and then are okay if you talk it over later
- 43:28 Q&A: If you shout, apologize and calm your own stress
- 47:22 Q&A: When a child is afraid to try, ask them to try first
- 49:53 Q&A: Motivating kids to study, and parents who push too hard
- 55:08 Q&A: Building confidence, and the two things kids need most
